Three Years to Go

In three years from the day I write this (not necessarily the day I post this), it will be THE day.  This occurred to me about 4 days ago.  And I felt a little panic.

Last night my 8 year old had a terrible night.  Up at 11:30 to go to the bathroom and couldn't fall back asleep.  Then up again at 2:30, got himself a cheese stick in the kitchen because he thought maybe eating something would help.  I sat with him in his room and read to him until 3:15.  He was awake again by 6:15 am (on July 12th).  After I went back to bed at 3:15 a.m. I wondered if this was a sign of things to come.  Was it a coincidence that this night, leading into THE day, was the first bad night he's had in years?  (For the first 3 years of his life EVERY night was a bad night, and then it was hit or miss for a couple of years - but I thought we had pretty much conquered his sleeping issues due to a very, very bad case of RLS.)  Obviously RLS is not life threatening so I don't think he's going to die from it in three years - but are his issues this night symbolic or predictive?

So today, 7/12/14 I'm just knocking around the house.  Getting projects done, etc.  But the date crosses my mind often.  And I try to imagine if today were 3 years into the future, would I be content to just hang around the house like I said I would, anticipating a lunch date with my children.  Today, in 2014, the answer is NO!  I want to run, breathe, live, feel.  I want to get out there and do it all - every last undone thing.  Yet, at the same time, feel like it is not my last day on earth.  Not dwell on the potential scariness.  Which - how could I possibly do both?  If I do anything special and out of the ordinary on 7/12/17, how can I trick my brain into not dwelling on the very reason I am doing it?

And then there is the totally unknown of will I even be able to do anything?  Or will my last days be plagued by some ailment yet to come?