Another Near Miss

When I went for a regular check-up recently, the same time my doctor told me I was pre-diabetic, he suggested I get a baseline scan of my thyroid.  I've been taking thyroid medicine since I was 12 but to my knowledge had never had a scan.  My church was offering a preventive scan which we had already signed up for - GREAT!  Results came back that I had a mass on my thyroid.  Very normal according to Google but let's get a sonogram with measurements to be sure.  By now it is the beginning of Christmas break and since I am off work I'm eager to get it all done.  Sonogram determined the mass was 11 mm.  10 mm is okay, 11 mm is not so let's get a biopsy.  That was an interesting experience.  During this time I had a dream about black pebbles in a throat.  Certain that I have thyroid cancer even though intellectually I know it is still unlikely, I'm eager to get the results.  Thanks to the beaurocracy known as HIPPA I couldn't be told the results over the phone and had to wait until the follow up appointment.  Turns out all is well.  Another scare, another near miss.  Breathing a little easier, I still await the mystery of July 12, 2017.

I'm Alive

Normally when I wake up I know instantly what day it is and in which direction I am headed.  On Tuesday morning I woke up and did not know.  I thought it was Sunday and only slightly grudgingly thought I must get up for church.  Then I thought it was Saturday and enjoyed some brief pleasant thoughts about how I would spend a lazy Saturday.  But then reality dawned and I realized with almost certainty that it was Tuesday.  I finally invoked my as yet unused motto for the year and declared "I'm alive" as I tried to focus on the positive of the recently discovered disappointment.

New Year, New Motto

New Year's Eve 2016 my 11 year old wanted to stay up until midnight.  We had movies and snacks and fire crackers which were all popped by 9:30.  About 10 o'clock I noticed that the kid had fallen asleep on the sofa.  I roused him to walk him to bed and he popped up frantically and said, "I'm alive, I'm alive!"  Obviously he meant to say "I'm awake" but in his sleepiness awake became alive.  But for me it had special meaning.  I hope that on July 13th I can wake up and say that.