I Hear You, Kids

Soon after I had the big dream I shared it with my older kids.  Already in their 20's and having lost their father in elementary school, as well as having discussed dreams with me on multiple occasions, I thought it would be wise to tell them in person before they found out via this blog.

A couple months ago, just after the New Year, I took them grocery shopping to encourage them in healthier eating choices and my older son randomly spouted that I was not going to die anytime soon.  It was clear to me that this was no time for discussion of the possibility because he was obviously and willfully in denial.

Just last week my daughter told me about the mother of her best friend in elementary school.  Apparently she had gotten divorced and then got really sick and her sister had to pay her medical bills.  I said I'd pray for the lady.  The next day my daughter told me the lady had died, within an hour of us having had that conversation.  She went on to say how sad it must be for her former friend to lose her mom at a time like this.  A time when life is just beginning for a young woman, not yet married, hasn't had a baby yet.  Those times when a young woman will want and need her mother.

Verbally I was agreeing and expressing sadness/empathy/regret - but internally I was screaming, "Don't you read my blog?!"  My own daughter might lose her mother in just 16 months.  And she's not fully settled into life yet either.

It seems like there is never a good time to die young.  And on the opposite side there are some older people that seem to hang on to life well beyond the time it is practical - well beyond the time it has stopped being enjoyable for them and they have long ago stopped making any contributions (that we can see anyway).

God's plan is bigger.

A Thought for my Son - the Artist

The book I read several months ago, "Dying to be Me" by Anita Moorjani (which I've already posted about twice) had a paragraph that enlightened me to my older son - a musician who sees life through the eyes of an artist which are not the eyes that his practical mother (that's me) and sister (my daughter) see things through.

Moorjani says, "The infinite self is our essence.  It's who we truly are... .  The intellect is just a tool for navigating through this life.  It figures out how to make enough money to put food on the table and make the rent, while the soul only wants to express itself." (p. 146)

Having just finished Spring Break I can sort of identify.  I wanted to figure out how to do just enough house cleaning to not endanger our health and safety but still enjoy the week and feel like my infinite self - enjoying life and time off of work, time with family and to pursue hobbies. 

I like the sentiment Moorjani expressed, but it fails to consider responsibilities.  There are responsibilities other than financial.  As a mom of a ten year-old, I have responsibilities to help him grow and achieve his full potential.  That includes, in my opinion, taking him to activities which enrich him.  I am not one of those over-scheduling moms.  But we do have a couple of activities which we consider an investment into his future-self.  As much as I would like to pursue my own interests a few nights a week, I have the responsibility to take him to his activities.

The artist (writer) in me still wants to spend more time writing a novel.  But, for now, I have found little ways, like through this blog or my website for book reviews that I can express enough of my soul and still meet my obligations.

Apple Cider Vinegar

If I were Oprah and she still made her list of the best Christmas gifts and then gave them all to her audience, I would include a super large bottle of Apple Cider Vinegar, raw, natural, unfiltered and "with the mother".  This is my new favorite product, right next to Simply Balanced from Target Organic Green Mint Tea.

A few months ago I noticed that any time I consumed a dairy product I would feel like my breath was bad, even after I brushed my teeth.  So I poked around on the internet and decided to try two teaspoons of apple cider vinegar in 16 ounces of water, daily.  It took some getting used to but now I find it very enjoyable and refreshing at the end of the day.  And, it improved my breath.

I also think it improved my skin.  I've always had bad skin, which I now know is because of the Gilbert syndrome which prevents my liver from processing toxins properly.  So I get a lot of "blemishes" on  my face.  Well, not as many as a teenager but when you are in your mid-40s even one is too many and highly embarrassing.  Since I started ACV though I have had much better skin.

I've also read that ACV works like a pro-biotic and I have some friends that also drink a daily dose for the health benefits.  They just do it like a shot of liquor because they don't like the taste.  My little boy was complaining about his pro-biotic tablet so I offered him the option of drinking ACV and started him on a VERY watered down dose but he decided the tablet was better.

Then I made maybe the greatest discovery of all for ACV.  I invented it on my own after I started having deodorant issues.  It seemed like my deodorant had suddenly stopped working.  Being a couponer I have several other sticks of deodorant in my stockpile but when I looked at them, all five brands had the same active ingredient as the one I had been using.   I really didn't relish the idea of going to the store and searching the aisle to find a different active ingredient so I went to the internet to see what other people recommended.  I thought maybe the problem stemmed from the new cholesterol medicine I'd recently switched to.  Not so.  I discovered that this problem is not uncommon - it is a problem of the deodorant reacting with the bacteria under my arm and causing the smell.  I grabbed onto the word "bacteria".  I thought maybe the problem began last time I got a new bar of soap (Ivory) because it is a brand known for being very mild.  I had a random bar of Dial soap so I started using that and noticed a slight improvement.  I would like to search out an anti-bacterial soap.  However, before I got to the store I heard a comedienne talking about how people were using ACV for EVERYTHING!!!  So, one evening as I was mixing ACV into my dinner water I thought - why not, I splashed some under my arms.  A few hours later I noted it was better!  I put more on at bed time and in the morning it was great.  My husband always turns up his nose when I open the bottle to mix my water for dinner, but he didn't even complain about the smell at bed time.

The first couple of days I showered with Dial, rubbed on ACV and then when it dried put on deodorant.  During the weekend I experimented and used only ACV.  I did have to re-apply after the pool but I would re-apply normal deodorant too after a swim.  On Monday I was so confident I used only ACV to go to work.  By Thursday I thought maybe the almost week-long break would be enough and I tried D.O. again - worse.  So for two weeks I used only ACV under my arms.
Admittedly it doesn't smell powder fresh but it also doesn't stink.  Obviously powder fresh would be the best choice but if that's not happening then I'll take neutral of stink.  After several weeks it started to be less effective so I switched back to deodorant but obviously the break and the ACV was helpful and I would do it again if the problem should re-occur in the future.

A Momentary Laugh

I was talking to someone a few days ago who happened to mention that there would be a new Harry Potter book coming out next year.  I asked when and she said Summer 2017 and that she wasn't sure of the exact date.  I chuckled and proclaimed it would be out on July 12, 2017.

"What a relief!" I thought to myself. 

Now, granted, I have followed the Harry Potter saga.  All the books are within my house.  I have fond memories of reading the first four or five books to my older children.  There was a lot of controversy when the books first came out that they might be of the devil so I read them out loud to my then-elementary-school children just in case there was anything we needed to discuss.  There wasn't; but, I enjoyed the family bonding so it became a tradition for each book.  Towards the end of the books, a couple of times, I'd tell the kids, "I don't care if it's a school night - you are staying up until we finish this book" because it was so suspenseful I wanted to find out what happened.  Just the same though - I wouldn't call myself a HUGE fan.  So, the idea that God would reveal this date especially to me is rather laughable.

NOTE TO SELF:  If my own novel is completed by then, do NOT release it during July 2017 because it would obviously be over-shadowed by the new Harry Potter book.

Today as I prepared to write this post I Googled and it seems I've been misinformed.  A new book is coming out July 31, 2016, the day after a play based on the book opens.  2017 will be the twentieth anniversary of the first book.  Also, according to Pottermore.com:  Next year will see the publication of four special editions of the first book in the UK, one for each of the four Hogwarts houses. There will also be a brand new edition ofFantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them in 2017, with new content by J.K. Rowling, as well as new formats and editions of the Hogwarts Library books – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Quidditch Through the Ages and The Tales of Beedle the Bard.

Oh well - for a couple of days I had a bit of a laugh.

Again I say - I'm a wimp

I've been sick the last couple of weeks - some sort of respiratory virus or infection.  It started on President's day with what felt like a little patch of humidity in my chest.  In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have gone for a walk in the moist evening air - but exercise is good, right?  That night I thought I would choke as I slept.  Some cold medicine kept me at work the next couple of days.  I slept on the reclining sofa so I wouldn't bother my husband.  Then I started a fever - the night before I was scheduled for a teacher certification test.  With these tests you pay your money ahead of time and there is no rescheduling.  So, feverish and coughing, only allowed two tissues and two unwrapped cough drops on my desk at a time, I took the test (and passed!) and then went straight to the doctor. 

He put me on some strong antibiotics.  I stayed home from work on Friday except when I took my husband to the doctor - he wound up with pneumonia.  By Saturday I was feeling on the road to recovery, finally fever free, and sat outside with my son at a tennis tournament.  But Sunday the side effects kicked in.  Stomach upset and extreme exhaustion.  I went to work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because I figured I wasn't contagious.  On Wednesday I actually laid down on my lunch break and took a nap.  That's when I learned not contagious and not sick are not the same thing.  I took the next two days off work and spent them plus the weekend just resting a lot and eating a little.

I did have to make a few pharmacy and juice runs and as I looked at the other people walking around carefree I tried to remember what it felt like to be healthy.  By Monday, a full two weeks after my symptoms began, I felt exactly like I had when it all started - that little patch of moisture in my chest.  Unfortunately now my doctor has taken a few days off so I can't see him for several more days.  It feels like my family will never be healthy again.  It feels like we've been sick forever. 

And then I think of the people I know who have been fighting cancer for more than a year.  I think of them and I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I'm tired of sickness.  My sickness is a drop in the bucket compared to the flood that has invaded their lives.  I see now why the most inspirational of them find joy in every moment and relish every day of life they are given.  It would be so easy to get sucked down the drain of sickness and misery.  I am even more inspired now to realize how much effort it must take to remain as positive as they do.