Now we are at the reason I write this blog. The dream I had between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, 2013.
In waking life I work at a school and am assigned to work specifically with 40 students.
In my dream I am at the school and walking towards the back area where my classroom is located. A student who is familiar to me, but not one I work directly with, approaches me with a gift. We enter an area that is suddenly more like a little corner neighborhood bar in Brazil and I open the gift. On the front it is some sort of beer advertisement but thick and solid. On the back it is a perpetual calendar and the date is set to July 12, 2017. It is a completely non-threatening situation but when I look at the date I am suddenly filled with knowledge and understanding that it will be the date I die. I look to the student and receive confirmation in his peaceful face.
Immediately when I wake I begin saying the date over and over to myself so that I won't forget it. My mind races with thoughts. How far away is it? Three and a half years. That's enough time to wrap up loose ends, but I don't think I 'll be ready to die then. How old will my children be? What do I mean I won't be ready to die! Heaven is on the other side of death - is there ever a bad time to go to Heaven? But my kids - is there ever a good age for a child to lose a parent? But how conceited of me to think that I know better than God what my kids need.
Now I am more awake and I try to talk myself into other meanings. Maybe it's not me, maybe someone else will die that day. Maybe just something big will happen. Maybe the house will burn down but we'll all be safe. Maybe I'll lose my job that day - the death of a job. But my job is in a school, kind of hard to lose it during the summer break. Maybe I'll have a different job by then. Maybe that is the day I will be told I'm cancer free.
What will I do that day? Should I stay home and avoid danger? But what if a plane crashes on the house. Can I avoid my destiny? What I won't do is run all around the world like in the movie The Bucket List. I want that day to be a quiet day at home with my family.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
A Journey I Don't Want to Go On
In my waking life I love to travel, am super-organized, and think fondly of California.
In mid-December, 2013 I had a dream that I was supposed to go on a trip to California and I was doing everything BUT packing. I did NOT want to go on this trip. I tried to tell myself that it would be good because I was taking my older son to a doctor that was really going to help him and I'd be able to take my younger son to Disney. But still I did NOT want to go.
I woke with the certainty that God had some sort of life-journey planned for me that was not going to be overly enjoyable. I try to appreciate the "heads-up". When I think of this journey I wonder what it will be. I really hope it is NOT cancer. If I had a choice it would be anything but cancer. Caner is so uncontrollable. People fight hard and still die. Others seem to breeze through it. But I've never thought of myself as a breezer. I'd rather have something I can semi-control (because obviously God is sending me on this journey so I'm in control of nothing). Tell me I have diabetes and I'll learn to manage my diet. Cut my legs off and I'll learn to walk with prosthesis or use a wheel chair. Take my hearing or even my sight and I'll adapt. But please, God, don't give me cancer.
In mid-December, 2013 I had a dream that I was supposed to go on a trip to California and I was doing everything BUT packing. I did NOT want to go on this trip. I tried to tell myself that it would be good because I was taking my older son to a doctor that was really going to help him and I'd be able to take my younger son to Disney. But still I did NOT want to go.
I woke with the certainty that God had some sort of life-journey planned for me that was not going to be overly enjoyable. I try to appreciate the "heads-up". When I think of this journey I wonder what it will be. I really hope it is NOT cancer. If I had a choice it would be anything but cancer. Caner is so uncontrollable. People fight hard and still die. Others seem to breeze through it. But I've never thought of myself as a breezer. I'd rather have something I can semi-control (because obviously God is sending me on this journey so I'm in control of nothing). Tell me I have diabetes and I'll learn to manage my diet. Cut my legs off and I'll learn to walk with prosthesis or use a wheel chair. Take my hearing or even my sight and I'll adapt. But please, God, don't give me cancer.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
The History of my Dreams
Since the mid-1990s I've been having prophetic dreams from time to
time. This has led me to do some reading about dreams and, combined
with my life long Christian faith, I have come to believe that God
speaks to me on occasion through my dreams.
There have been many dreams throughout the years - below are some of the most memorable. My kids have heard enough that they are now believers and sometimes call me up to tell me about their dreams and ask what I think it means.
What I've learned from my reading is that dream interpretation is very personal. There are some general symbols that are common throughout. But, I can't interpret your dream for you, I can only guide you in discovering your own interpretation.
But I'm not starting this blog to interpret dreams. I'm starting this blog to help me work through the thoughts and feelings I have and will have in the next few years because of a dream I had on Christmas Eve, 2013 (to be posted in my next post).
Highlilghts of my Dream History
The first time, I dreamt that I was saying goodbye to an old friend in an airport. I spent several days very worried about that friend. Turns out a few days later my host-father in Brasil passed away.
Since then I have read that it is typical to have a specific messenger, someone that God knows you trust, to bring the difficult messages. So, when I have a dream that involves that friend that I trust (always the same person), I know I better pay attention. But I also understand that whatever will happen, the messenger is safe.
Some years later I worked in a large office and telecommuted 3 days a week. So, I only went to the office on Monday and Thursday. On Wednesday night I dreamt that I was out to lunch with my co-workers and one of them was not using his left arm. I had no way of knowing, until I arrived at work the next day, that two of my co-workers had gone mountain biking the evening before and one of them broke his left shoulder (yes, the same one who wasn't using it in my dream).
I've always thought that my host-mother in Brazil resembles one of my in-laws. One night I dreamt that my host-mother was laying on a round bed, all covered in white satin. A few hours the in-law called my husband and said she wasn't feeling well. I told my husband to tell her to not fluff it off. As it turned out she went to the doctor and had a heart attack and survived!
In May of 2012 I dreamt that I was saying goodbye to the messenger in front of an airplane. He made a point to tell me, three times, that it was only goodbye for a little while but he would be back in November. A few days later my mom had blood pressure issues and was in the hospital briefly and recovered. You can imagine I was on pins and needles all of November. Shortly before Thanksgiving, a very close family friend died suddenly.
There have been many dreams throughout the years - below are some of the most memorable. My kids have heard enough that they are now believers and sometimes call me up to tell me about their dreams and ask what I think it means.
What I've learned from my reading is that dream interpretation is very personal. There are some general symbols that are common throughout. But, I can't interpret your dream for you, I can only guide you in discovering your own interpretation.
But I'm not starting this blog to interpret dreams. I'm starting this blog to help me work through the thoughts and feelings I have and will have in the next few years because of a dream I had on Christmas Eve, 2013 (to be posted in my next post).
Highlilghts of my Dream History
The first time, I dreamt that I was saying goodbye to an old friend in an airport. I spent several days very worried about that friend. Turns out a few days later my host-father in Brasil passed away.
Since then I have read that it is typical to have a specific messenger, someone that God knows you trust, to bring the difficult messages. So, when I have a dream that involves that friend that I trust (always the same person), I know I better pay attention. But I also understand that whatever will happen, the messenger is safe.
Some years later I worked in a large office and telecommuted 3 days a week. So, I only went to the office on Monday and Thursday. On Wednesday night I dreamt that I was out to lunch with my co-workers and one of them was not using his left arm. I had no way of knowing, until I arrived at work the next day, that two of my co-workers had gone mountain biking the evening before and one of them broke his left shoulder (yes, the same one who wasn't using it in my dream).
I've always thought that my host-mother in Brazil resembles one of my in-laws. One night I dreamt that my host-mother was laying on a round bed, all covered in white satin. A few hours the in-law called my husband and said she wasn't feeling well. I told my husband to tell her to not fluff it off. As it turned out she went to the doctor and had a heart attack and survived!
In May of 2012 I dreamt that I was saying goodbye to the messenger in front of an airplane. He made a point to tell me, three times, that it was only goodbye for a little while but he would be back in November. A few days later my mom had blood pressure issues and was in the hospital briefly and recovered. You can imagine I was on pins and needles all of November. Shortly before Thanksgiving, a very close family friend died suddenly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)