Getting the Last Word

I've heard of people who know they are dying that pre-write letters or make videos for significant moments in their child's life that they will miss.  I've been contemplating an expansion on that.

What if I left a letter for a family member that I'm estranged from?  Would it be fair if I left instructions for the letter to be delivered after/if I die on 7/12/17?  A one-sided attempt at making amends.  Although, in my heart I know if I didn't resolve it in life I probably wouldn't resolve it in a letter.  Such a letter might even cause more pain and unresolved issues.

Or what if I really admire someone but am too embarrassed to tell them.  I know a compliment shouldn't be embarrassing - but maybe I don't want it to get weird or awkward and definitely don't want to seem like I have a girl-crush or anything.  Would it be fair to leave a letter and then they don't get a chance to return a compliment?  Would they appreciate the post-humous admiration or regret that they didn't know while I was still around?

Whether I leave a letter or not, my life would be complete - physically at least.  As a Christian I believe I'd still obtain admission to Heaven.  But what if I'm sent to Purgatory until the issues are resolved?  There are other schools of thought out there.  What if they are right, what if there are spirits that don't cross over because of unresolved issues?  Or what if leaving a letter is like cheating and then the last thing I did on earth would be cheat - that's not good.

So I should probably just suck up the earthly courage and handle my business before I depart.  At least I've still got some time to work up to it.  But then there is that caveat that maybe I don't die on 7/12/17, maybe it is just some other life altering day.  So if I make that admission of admiration on 7/11 and then I'm still here on 7/13 - things might be weird.

I contemplated it for some days - and gave the compliment.  Things aren't weird.  Obviously, if it is a person that is that admirable they should be able to take a compliment.

On the other hand - there is still that unresolved issue with an estranged family member.  I'm not feeling that brave yet.  And I am fully aware that they may die first.  Leaving me behind to be unresolved.  I think I'm okay with that.  I'm not much for gambling, but I'm going to ride the odds out a little longer on this one.