A Christmas Present

Now we are at the reason I write this blog.  The dream I had between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, 2013.  

In waking life I work at a school and am assigned to work specifically with 40 students.  

In my dream I am at the school and walking towards the back area where my classroom is located.  A student who is familiar to me, but not one I work directly with, approaches me with a gift.  We enter an area that is suddenly more like a little corner neighborhood bar in Brazil and I open the gift.  On the front it is some sort of beer advertisement but thick and solid.  On the back it is a perpetual calendar and the date is set to July 12, 2017.  It is a completely non-threatening situation but when I look at the date I am suddenly filled with knowledge and understanding that it will be the date I die.  I look to the student and receive confirmation in his peaceful face.  

Immediately when I wake I begin saying the date over and over to myself so that I won't forget it.  My mind races with thoughts.  How far away is it?  Three and a half years.  That's enough time to wrap up loose ends, but I don't think I 'll be ready to die then.  How old will my children be?  What do I mean I won't be ready to die!    Heaven is on the other side of death - is there ever a bad time to go to Heaven?  But my kids - is there ever a good age for a child to lose a parent?  But how conceited of me to think that I know better than God what my kids need.

Now I am more awake and I try to talk myself into other meanings.  Maybe it's not me, maybe someone else will die that day.  Maybe just something big will happen.  Maybe the house will burn down but we'll all be safe.  Maybe I'll lose my job that day - the death of a job.  But my job is in a school, kind of hard to lose it during the summer break.  Maybe I'll have a different job by then.  Maybe that is the day I will be told I'm cancer free.

What will I do that day?  Should I stay home and avoid danger?  But what if a plane crashes on the house.  Can I avoid my destiny?  What I won't do is run all around the world like in the movie The Bucket List.  I want that day to be a quiet day at home with my family.