I was listening to the song that goes, "Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall. All you have to do is call. And I'll be there, you've got a friend."
That got me thinking about what friends I have to whom I would go running when they called. I have lots of friends and family in Brazil. Over the years, now especially with Facebook, I've seen that they have come as far as Orlando and not invited me to join them or not tried to come visit me in Texas.
Sure, sometimes it wouldn't be practical. But I'd like to at least know it was an option. To feel like I was friend enough that they would want to visit with me. I mean, normally we live 5,000+ miles apart so if they were less than 2,000 miles from my home, that is more than half way. Just as if I were in any part of Brazil I surely would plan a leg of my trip to go visit them.
And what if it was something a little weightier? What if a friend needed a kidney? What if my best friend in the world needed a kidney? I'd have to say no because I would worry that if something went wrong and I died it would be unfair to my children. This friend I think of is childless. But what if they, too, had a child. Nope - I still wouldn't do it. While I wouldn't want their kids to lose a parent, donating a kidney could potentially rob two families of a parent. BUT - what if it was I who needed the kidney. Yes, I'd expect my (childless) friend to donate for me. Why? They have a parents and siblings - doesn't that count too?
And then I wonder why I am so obsessed with not abandoning my children. I mean, I think I'm a decent mother but I'm no mother-of-the-year. And haven't I raised them well enough to survive without me? As I've said before though, dying first is no noble gesture. Life sucks for a while for those left behind. So maybe that is what I want to spare my children from.
No comments:
Post a Comment