I have heard many humans express their love for another with the sentiment that they would lay down their life to save the other. It sounds selfless, but when you stop and really reflect, this is what they are indeed saying:
1. There's this great place called Heaven that we are all waiting to get to - but I'm going to cut the line and see if I can't get there before you
2. I'm going to do something that might end my life but you will be saved. So you can stay here on this earth and miss me every day. You can learn to live with the guilt that I died to save you. You can go through the rest of your life bereft and grieving.
Staying behind is the hard part! That's what torments me most about my potential exit on 7/12/17, that I will have to leave my kids behind. Sure it sounds self-centered to think they can't go on without me. I know they can. They are strong. They will go on. But they will also have sadness and longing and an absence that I am not there to fill. In my earthly, mother's heart the idea of hurting my children bothers me.
It seems like the more romantic, heroic thing to do would be to say to your loved one, you take my place at the great banquet table of Heaven, I'll stay down here and wait in the rain without an umbrella on the dark night, with stray and rabid dogs nipping at my heels. I'll keep waiting for the next Heaven-bound bus that comes along, even though it may be decades. And I'll miss you but I'll be glad you are safe and secure and happy and comfortable in Heaven.
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