What's the Big Secret?

The other thing I often wonder as I read the obits is - what's the big secret?  I find myself often wondering what took the life of these people.  Some die so young.  Others leave children behind and certainly it must have been something really strong and powerful to rip them away from their children.  Every now and then you'll see the cause of death listed.  Usually in a nicely worded fashion like lost their battle with cancer or something along those lines.   Or you can make a guess based on the charity they request donations for.

Is there some social stigma I'm missing that contra-indicates mentioning the cause of death?  NOTE TO WHOEVER WRITES MY OBIT:  Just tell people how I died - there's really no shame in it.  Not that this would happen to me but with the right words anything could sound good:  Heroin, the king of evil took over your life and brought it to an end, but now you rest in the arms of the King of Heaven.

I can speak from personal experience.  My first husband committed suicide.  I definitely did NOT write that into his obituary.  Partly because it seemed so horrendous and also, at the time, I wasn't sure I wanted the children to know.  Truth be told we didn't make it through the viewing before one of them overheard it in the bathroom.  Looking back on it now with perspective it would have been just fine to write it in.  Surely there was more whispering about whether it was or wasn't than if I'd just come out and said it.

And when my mom passed away a little over a year ago from complications of Dementia, I didn't write the cause then either.  But now that I've given it some thought, I would definitely write both of them differently.