I've been sick the last couple of weeks - some sort of respiratory virus or infection. It started on President's day with what felt like a little patch of humidity in my chest. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have gone for a walk in the moist evening air - but exercise is good, right? That night I thought I would choke as I slept. Some cold medicine kept me at work the next couple of days. I slept on the reclining sofa so I wouldn't bother my husband. Then I started a fever - the night before I was scheduled for a teacher certification test. With these tests you pay your money ahead of time and there is no rescheduling. So, feverish and coughing, only allowed two tissues and two unwrapped cough drops on my desk at a time, I took the test (and passed!) and then went straight to the doctor.
He put me on some strong antibiotics. I stayed home from work on Friday except when I took my husband to the doctor - he wound up with pneumonia. By Saturday I was feeling on the road to recovery, finally fever free, and sat outside with my son at a tennis tournament. But Sunday the side effects kicked in. Stomach upset and extreme exhaustion. I went to work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because I figured I wasn't contagious. On Wednesday I actually laid down on my lunch break and took a nap. That's when I learned not contagious and not sick are not the same thing. I took the next two days off work and spent them plus the weekend just resting a lot and eating a little.
I did have to make a few pharmacy and juice runs and as I looked at the other people walking around carefree I tried to remember what it felt like to be healthy. By Monday, a full two weeks after my symptoms began, I felt exactly like I had when it all started - that little patch of moisture in my chest. Unfortunately now my doctor has taken a few days off so I can't see him for several more days. It feels like my family will never be healthy again. It feels like we've been sick forever.
And then I think of the people I know who have been fighting cancer for more than a year. I think of them and I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I'm tired of sickness. My sickness is a drop in the bucket compared to the flood that has invaded their lives. I see now why the most inspirational of them find joy in every moment and relish every day of life they are given. It would be so easy to get sucked down the drain of sickness and misery. I am even more inspired now to realize how much effort it must take to remain as positive as they do.
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