Generous Children

My children currently range between the ages of 25 and 10.  One girl, two boys.  From time to time they, the boys especially, have come home with a toy and said some kid at school gave it to them.   It may be a Matchbox car, a Pokemon card or a McDonald's trinket, but the revelation always releases a flood of questions from me:

• Are you sure they meant for you to keep it?
• Are you supposed to bring it back tomorrow?
• What did you give them in return?

To which the answers are always:  yes, no, nothing.

I've always lived a middle class lifestyle.  We've always had enough.  Sometimes a little more than enough - but we always lived like it was just enough.  Frugality is a fun hobby for me.  On top of that, I'm a bit of the sentimental sort.  


So the idea that a child will just randomly give away their toys is so foreign to me.  I always wonder if their parent knows they gave it away and if they did know would they care.  What if that was the Matchbox car that used to belong to their grandfather?  What if the Pokemon card was actually pilfered from an older sibling?  What if the mom drove past five other McDonald's just to get to the McDonald's that was selling that particular Minion because she knew it was the one that would complete her child's set?

My children have always had more than enough toys.  Sometimes I'd wished and begged they would get rid of stuff.  But more than once they've wanted to get rid of something to which I said, "But that was your first...".  I even have a collection of the most sentimental stuff in the back closet hoping to pass it down one day to my grandchildren (if I live that long).  At the same time I am aware that they may not see the value in it that I do.  They may not have the memories of their first Little Tikes car like I can remember watching them play with it.

I am fully aware that there is no monetary value in sentimental value.  Sometimes you hit on something "classic" or "antique" but even then you have to find just the right buyer to get the financial value out of it.

The other side of this coin that I always contemplate is - what does it say about my children that they are willing to take somebody's hand-offs.  I mean, I've taught them never to turn down a free meal - but a free used toy is a completely different matter. 

What Causes Things

It seems like in the last couple of decades there has been a rise in cancer and autism - among other things.  I remember when my older kids were in elementary school in the early '90s I often said to myself, after seeing how early the girls were developing, that it must be something in the milk.  Years later several people (family and close friends) suggested that my youngest child showed early signs of autism.  I read Jenny McCarthy's book about her journey with her autistic son and how strongly she felt that changing his diet made a big difference to his condition.

So I took gluten and caesin out of my young one's diet.  It really wasn't as hard as it sounds thanks to modern online resources.  Eight years later he is a great student but still a little quirky.  I'll never know for sure if changing the diet made a difference since there was no control group.  But I believe it did.

I've also seen the documentary Food, Inc. which changed the way I buy food.  Turns out there really was something in the milk!  And the chickens, and lots of other food sources.  I'm not committed enough to go organic - although I'm getting there.  But for the last several years I have been buying only meat that is hormone and antibiotic free.  Right away we could taste a difference  And we're starting to prefer produce that is locally grown without pesticides.

While I've not yet heard of a direct link between cancer and the things in our food source - I have hope that my small actions and changes are helping my family decrease their chances of contracting that nasty disease.

Authorship

Righteous, My Deliverer, Good Shepherd, Jehovah, King - these are just a few of the over 900 names of God.    Lately I've come up with one of my own and I really like it.  Every night when I pray, in order to keep myself from just rattling off a laundry list of my wants, I remember the acronym ACTS and first Adore God, then Confess my sins, then give Thanks, then Supplication.  Sometimes I draw a blank on the Adoration part but one day I came up with God being the Author of the Universe.

Being a writer myself I really liked the idea.  Last night I even thought about how

• God erases our sins. 
• He knows all the grammar rules and edits to be made.
• He already knows the ending to our story.

If you are having inter-personal / relationship struggles, God can write your name on their heart.
If you are looking for a job, God can write your name on the employee roster.
Whatever blanks you have in your life - God can fill them in.

This idea goes along with something I heard on Joel Osteen radio yesterday - as our life plays out and we lose a loved one too soon (so we think).  God is not sitting up there going, "Whoops, I didn't mean for that person to die today." God is not surprised by anything that happens down here.  He already knows how its going to work out.  He already knows the ending to our story and it is exactly how he planned it.  Whether we take the right fork or the left fork - it all leads to the same place.

Getting the Last Word

I've heard of people who know they are dying that pre-write letters or make videos for significant moments in their child's life that they will miss.  I've been contemplating an expansion on that.

What if I left a letter for a family member that I'm estranged from?  Would it be fair if I left instructions for the letter to be delivered after/if I die on 7/12/17?  A one-sided attempt at making amends.  Although, in my heart I know if I didn't resolve it in life I probably wouldn't resolve it in a letter.  Such a letter might even cause more pain and unresolved issues.

Or what if I really admire someone but am too embarrassed to tell them.  I know a compliment shouldn't be embarrassing - but maybe I don't want it to get weird or awkward and definitely don't want to seem like I have a girl-crush or anything.  Would it be fair to leave a letter and then they don't get a chance to return a compliment?  Would they appreciate the post-humous admiration or regret that they didn't know while I was still around?

Whether I leave a letter or not, my life would be complete - physically at least.  As a Christian I believe I'd still obtain admission to Heaven.  But what if I'm sent to Purgatory until the issues are resolved?  There are other schools of thought out there.  What if they are right, what if there are spirits that don't cross over because of unresolved issues?  Or what if leaving a letter is like cheating and then the last thing I did on earth would be cheat - that's not good.

So I should probably just suck up the earthly courage and handle my business before I depart.  At least I've still got some time to work up to it.  But then there is that caveat that maybe I don't die on 7/12/17, maybe it is just some other life altering day.  So if I make that admission of admiration on 7/11 and then I'm still here on 7/13 - things might be weird.

I contemplated it for some days - and gave the compliment.  Things aren't weird.  Obviously, if it is a person that is that admirable they should be able to take a compliment.

On the other hand - there is still that unresolved issue with an estranged family member.  I'm not feeling that brave yet.  And I am fully aware that they may die first.  Leaving me behind to be unresolved.  I think I'm okay with that.  I'm not much for gambling, but I'm going to ride the odds out a little longer on this one.