Paying it Forward

Another lady at work has cancer.  Unlike the first lady that I mentioned several posts ago, this lady has to work in between her treatments.  For both ladies we took up a collection and for one of them we also prepared meals for her family.  I contributed on all three counts.  I would like to believe that if it was me then my co-workers would do the same.  In the back of my head, I wondered if I wasn't paying it forward.  If my contributions were actually an investment for the assistance I'll receive when whatever is looming in my future actually strikes.

A friend of mine coordinated a big fundraiser for her brother-in-law who needs a transplant.  I got my book club to contribute a basket for the auction.  Again - I'm thinking about paying it forward.  Does that make me less charitable?

That reminds me about the episode of Friends when Phoebe and one of the guys was arguing about there is no truly selfless act.  If doing charity work makes you feel good then it's not selfless.  I think they tried to do something they didn't enjoy and wound up getting a free t-shirt.  So maybe I don't feel so bad.

I Got the Car

My old car was going to need about $5000 worth of work.  Because my child's school and my job are in a different town 30 miles from where we live it's difficult to schedule time at the mechanic without the additional expense of renting a car.  And the thought of breaking down along the way, where there is often no cell phone coverage, with a 9 year old child with me was not a good idea.  Plus, a new car is something that, once the idea takes root in your head and you pick a model and a color, it's hard to abandon.

So I got a Toyota.  The finance manager who was leading us through all the titling papers talked about how he's seen Toyota's with 300,000 miles on them - so this may be the last car I ever buy.  Those words sounded  a lot different to me than he probably intended them to.  Then he tried to sell me an extended warranty that would last six years.  The absurdity was all through my head.  I may not even make it through the 3 year / 36,000 mile warranty.  (Well, I'll hit the miles before I'd hit the years anyway - unless an upcoming illness causes me to change my driving habits.)

Regardless, I will definitely enjoy whatever driving time I have left much more in a worry-free vehicle.

My Mother's Things

This summer, in addition to packing away toys for supposed future grandchildren, I've also cleaned out a couple more boxes in the stack left over from my mom's storage unit.  (She passed away last October.)  There were four china teacups and saucers - all from different patterns, an antique doll (creepy to me), and various knick-knacks.  I looked them up online and there's very little value.  But to her I'm sure they were valuable - sentimental if nothing else.  And I'm just left to wonder.  Why teacups?  Only four - they weren't something she sought out actively.  And the doll?  Why drag it around all those years?

I wish I had thought to ask those things when she was alive.  Did I even see that doll in her house anywhere?  How would I have known to ask about it?  It makes me want to go back into the boxes I packed away for my grandchildren and write notes about what was what.

When my mom was alive I used to think she had the best cooking pans and stirring spoons.  Many years ago I even told her I wanted her pans when she died.  I didn't have to wait that long because she bought me a set as a gift.  Through the years I have acquired other pans and honestly, I like them much better because of their newer technology.  A few months before she died she gave me one of her stirring spoons.  It's not like I remembered either.  I always remember making pudding with it - and it is good for that, but it's not an everyday cooking spoon.

In the end all I really wanted was her Bible and her recipe collection.  And a little more time...

A New Car

My car is six years old and has over 115,000 miles on it and counting.  I drive a lot!  The car has been well cared for and I haven't had a lick of trouble with it.  It was never even wrecked until just a few days ago when I had a very minor fender ding (so annoying - there goes my trade in value if I do trade in).  With all the bigger vehicles on the road though, I feel like I would enjoy something bigger so I didn't feel so undersized when I drive around.  I've test driven a couple of things.  IF I get a new vehicle I want to take my time and not rush it.  But part of me says, why bother, I could probably squeeze three more years out of my Honda.  Not buying a car would leave a little more money for my kids to inherit.  Or to pay future medical bills.

Would you buy a new car (a family car - not a dream car) if you new for certain you only had 3 days to live?  Or 3 months?  Or 3 years?  Where is the reasonable cut off?  Is it possible to be a martyr in this regard?  Should I sacrifice or should I enjoy the potential last 3 years of driving?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Recently I was driving my eight year old to school and the song "I Can Only Imagine" came on the radio.  Being 8, he missed the song in its heyday so it occurred to me that he might not be aware of what a beautiful song it is.  So I called his attention to it and explained the premise - the singer is imagining what Heaven will be like.  I asked my son what he thought Heaven would be like, to which he replied that he is much younger than me so he won't be going to Heaven for a long time and doesn't need to think about it right now.

Of course, I have enough life experience to know that one never knows how much time they have - but try telling that to an optimistic eight year old.  Or maybe, don't - eight year olds really shouldn't have to think about such things anyway.